Recently someone left a comment on an old post I wrote about *whisper* dbt. This person wrote that she was sadistically abused from the age of four and she lived in a cult for 14 years. Her comment was that she had never heard anyone speak so venomously about dbt (my words) and that aided by dbt and exposure therapy she was able to completely work through all of her trauma in just a few weeks and it “worked like a charm”. (Really, the words within the quotations are hers, she said, “it worked like a charm”.)
And at first, I was all, “Damn girl, give me the name of your therapist cuz that is seriously taking the express lane!” But then I shook my head because frankly I consider myself a woman of above average intelligence... »View More
Added Wednesday, September 8, 2010
in Bitter is the new black, CB rant you should ignore, DBT is NOT Therapy, Does this post make my ass look big?, Feeling stabby again, I hate DBT, I unapologize, Marsha is a cult leader, Nod if you can hear me, This is MY blog dammit!, stop judging me!
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The past week as I have been wallowing in self pity and shame the therapist has been attempting to give me some tips on how to effectively manage the internal war and how to care for that stupid bratty kid in her absensce. Good and useful tips too, not your usual bullshit.
Like, for example, it’s probably a good idea for the 5 year old to hide during her stay at Susan Smith’s daycare in case of an *accidental* drowning. Talk and *soothe* that bitch sweet kid when when she *cries* for the therapist – can someone hand me a razor pacie and blankie to take care of that whiny bratty bitch sweet innocent little girl?
And she also said, “Life is short…Play Hard!” (Or maybe that was Nike…I’m... »View More
Added Thursday, August 26, 2010
in Because I said so-that's why, Bitter is the new black, DBT is NOT Therapy, Does this post make my ass look big?, Grace's Thoughts, Host Body is a Bitch, I should drink more, I unapologize, Invalidation, Just leave already!, Lemonade is Sour and it Sux, Marsha is a cult leader, PAG (Psycho Angry Chick), RED HOT RAGE!, Scalpel please, Shame, Therapist
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So the therapist has named her back-up who will cover for her during her vacation. And *Grace wipes sweat from her brow* I can rest easy because I KNOW *IT*! I am bathed in relief! Because now I KNOW there ain’t no way I’m gonna get through the two weeks…well, that was before I came up with my own “back-up”….I shall elaborate.
THE BACK UP (fat ass Marsha ‘wannabe’ posing as a “therapist) When the therapist pulled the execution boundary card and insisted that I attend DBT classes, she “strongly” suggested I take these classes with this social worker/pseudo-therapist she works with at the hospital so the two of them could meet on a regular basis and discuss how they would like to torture me next. I did NOT take... »View More
Added Tuesday, August 24, 2010
in Bitch-slapped by the universe, CB rant you should ignore, DBT is NOT Therapy, Host Body is a Bitch, I can do it by myself, I hate DBT, I unapologize, Just leave already!, Marsha is a cult leader, Now even I hate me, Post I will prob'ly delete tomorrow, Therapist, Why should I trust you, sui-sui-suidio...
6 Comments
I have been partying at the flashback fun frolic for just about 2 weeks now. And contrary to what the nun thinks works best I have been unable to distract (dissociate) it all away. And when this happens, there’s no “mindfullness” or “bucket-slinging”…there’s only watching the clock and struggling to getting through each minute. I cannot sweep it under the rug or pretend it doesn’t exist. Unfortunately, neither have I been able to talk about it with my dear sweet therapist because there is always that little voice who questions the trustworthiness during times like these because it was during one of the most vulnerable moments of my life when I was held down and tortured to the point of... »View More
Added Sunday, August 1, 2010
in CSA, DBT is NOT Therapy, Flashback Follies, Grace's Thoughts, I hate DBT, Invalidation, Marsha is a cult leader, Repeat the trauma, Survivors against DBT & the Nun, TraumaHead
10 Comments
…and not just because they also would like to burn the nun’s bible.
Let me lighten it up a bit with a few words about my most *favoritistic* topic.
Today I was looking at the key words/phrases that have lead people to read Saving Grace. And not surprisingly there were many who were looking for some sort of shall we say: validation, or solidarity, in their own hatred of DBT.
Yes folks, this is what the MHPs DON’T tell you! They act like DBT will change your life for the *better* and that everyone benefits from DBT and drinking the Nun’s kool-aid. I’m here to tell you that is NOT the case for me. In fact, now any association to DBT mantra immediately makes me want to poke the the kool-aid-drinking- speaker’s... »View More
Added Thursday, July 29, 2010
in CB rant you should ignore, DBT, DBT is NOT Therapy, I hate DBT, Invalidation, Marsha is a cult leader, RED HOT RAGE!, Survivors against DBT & the Nun, stop judging me!
4 Comments
That sounds really far-fetched and frankly something a crazy person would say (consider the source) – but I will connect the dots to what led to PAG screaming this statement to the therapist yesterday right before becoming the 5 year old.
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever said anything quite so graphic to the therapist’s face. I don’t think I have ever said the word sex while looking at her directly. But I was in such a state of anger and rage from the Thursday meeting with TT that it just flew out as though it wasn’t really me saying it.
I told her how angry I was that TT said what she said about DBT being “necessary” after telling me on the phone that she “understood” why I felt like it was retraumatizing when... »View More
Added Tuesday, May 18, 2010
in 5 year old Grace, CSA, DBT, DBT is NOT Therapy, ESF (evil step-father), Grace's thoughts on therapy, I hate DBT, Nod if you can hear me, PAG (Psycho Angry Chick), Repeat the trauma, Survivors against DBT & the Nun, Therapist, TraumaHead, dissociation, self-injury, sex, suicide
2 Comments
A couple of weeks ago I mentioned to the therapist that I would like to have a consult…the two of us go see an outside therapist to help with communication and she said that she had been thinking the same thing. Great! I had researched and found a therapist who specialized in trauma and dissociation and I called her and asked her if she did consults with therapist and clients together and she said yes.
During our conversation she asked me several questions and I told her that I really did NOT want to change therapists, that I had worked with the therapist for four years and I was really hoping for someone to help the therapist and I work together more effectively. I mentioned that two years ago the therapist (in my opinion) insisted... »View More
Added Monday, May 17, 2010
in CrazyBrain, DBT is NOT Therapy, Grace's Thoughts, Grace's thoughts on therapy, I hate DBT, Invalidation, Nod if you can hear me, Shame, Survivors against DBT & the Nun, Therapist, depression, suicide
17 Comments
I am quite seriously thinking of performing my own lobotomy tonight. At this point I think that is the only way to kill the craziness. I have tried to get help but I get handed a handful of anti-crazy meds and a 3×5 card with some distraction skills and the directive to “shut up and behave”.
I tell a DBTC that her class isn’t working for me and I get called a petulant child. (Are you kidding me?)
I tell the therapist that the dbt classes aren’t working for me, and she tells me, “Of course you are going to feel irritable after DBT class as this class runs counter to what your emotional mind wants which is to be heard, understood and comforted, vs being told to modulate, distract, “pretend” to feel good.” Dear... »View More
Added Wednesday, March 31, 2010
in CrazyBrain, DBT is NOT Therapy, Defiant Grace, I hate DBT, Invalidation, Marsha is a cult leader, Nod if you can hear me, PAG (Psycho Angry Chick), Repeat the trauma, TraumaHead, Why should I trust you
6 Comments
I am in no danger of hurting myself and haven’t been for awhile. And of course it’s all because Marsha Linehan developed that ROCKIN’ AWESOME ~ Program for FREAKS who were FUCKED as kids! I shall forever be indebted to her….
MY HERO! *GRACE SWOONS* at the mere mention of her name…
*REALITY CHECK*
Yes, I shall always be indebted to her for wasting my fucking time and money on a retraumatizing program that SUX! She can take her *MINDFULNESS* and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine, or pin it next her ugly ass broach, or make another kick-ass hair barrette out of it – I don’t really give a shit – but keep it far far away from me!
Fuck DBT and fuck that flying nun and everything... »View More
Added Thursday, March 25, 2010
in DBT, DBT is NOT Therapy, I hate DBT, Invalidation, Marsha is a cult leader, PAG (Psycho Angry Chick), Repeat the trauma, Survivors against DBT & the Nun, TraumaHead, Tread lightly on this one
9 Comments
I already do…
When I was a sophomore in college I went to see Steven Wright perform. Steven Wright does kind of *depressed* comedy. I remember 2 jokes from that night.
1. He said his girlfriend asked him, “If you could know how and when you were going to die would you wanna know?” He said, “No” and she replied, “Never mind then.”2. Steven Wright said, “I live at the end of a dead end, one way street
Those are the only 2 jokes I remember from that night. That was in 1990.
That’s always been an interesting question, “If you could know when and how you were going to die, would you want to know?”
I know how I’m going to die. That may sound sort of dark but I know that I’m going to die of an accidental... »View More
Added Wednesday, March 10, 2010
in DBT is NOT Therapy, Grace's Thoughts, Invalidation, Nod if you can hear me, Repeat the trauma, TraumaHead, depression, dissociation, suicide
4 Comments
