Thursday, April 30, 2009
I desperately need this week to end!
It’s been a long time since I have struggled this much in a week. I feel so fragile. I don’t know how to let myself exist. The little girls inside of me are angry, hurt, sad, abused~ I don’t know how to comfort them. I am exhausted from their constant mantra. I have had a migraine for 3 days. I went to an “emergency” session w/dear therapist (which she was nice to accommodate on an hour notice)…but it didn’t seem to help at all. I was so desperate last night. Screaming inside my head ~ I actually went outside, ran down the street in the darkness…away from ’suburbia’ and just screamed into the night until I couldn’t... »View More
Added Thursday, April 30, 2009
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The Broken Little Girl Saved My Life That Day
The measure of a man, or woman in my case, comes down to one brief moment: the moment that would determine whether or not I would, or even could, swallow the pills I had counted out. To take them or not to take them was in my court, and even though I held the ball, I was quickly losing the game.
A remnant of a dream I once had when I was a little girl briefly fluttered through my disassociated mind. I was once a child with dreams and aspirations; I wasn’t always this hopeless woman who had lost faith in everything, including those in the helping profession. This is help? This was what they had to offer me? This is the treatment plan? A therapist who seemed to no longer care, one psychiatrist who... »View More
Added Thursday, April 23, 2009
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